Wednesday, February 11, 2009
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!
Yay! Thank you all those peeps who smsed me, called me, msn-ed me happy birthday. :) i really appreciate that you guys remember this special day of my life. I feel so happy receiving those messages even from friends that i haven't talked to in a long time, though there's this feature called "birthday reminders" on facebook and friendster, but i'm still glad that they bother to sms me! =) thanks friends!
Well, it wasn't a sweet sixteen, not at all. It was more like a bitter sixteen. I wasn't happy, ever since last friday and was in no mood to celebrate. Better to say, i didn't even want to celebrate. I don't see the joy and happiness of it. Rarghh . .
Something's really wrong with me. Yes, i know. I can't believe i actually ... ... whatever! I think it's better for me to end my post here, rather than me uttering out rubbish.
JiaXin
@ 9:55 PM
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Thursday, February 05, 2009
THE NIGHTMARE IS BACK!
NOT AGAIN . . .
For no particular reason, my foot got really pain and swell up yesterday late afternoon. The pain was excruciating and persistent. Sleep was badly disrupted. I could barely even fall asleep in the night.
So, this morning i was left with no choice but to go see dr lee. Obviously, i was reluctant to go to him. But i didn't have a choice. I cant think of any other better solution. I cant possibly go to a polyclinic or a GP to get a referral letter to go to some other doctors. There would be a long waiting queue and who knows, the doctor referred may not be good enough. In addition, i would have to repeat my history all over again and with all the physical examination and stuff. It's going to take a very long time.
In the end, i called the clinic up and told the nurse that it was kinda a urgent case. I was given the 2pm slot. When dr lee saw me, he examined my foot by asking me to lie on the bed. To my horror, he just pull open the drawer and took out the necessary things used for injection. The jab is called trigger point injection. Immediately, i objected. However, i was unable to resist and was forced to do the injection. He promised me that given his skill and profession, my foot would DEFINITELY not swell. And i would be permanently pain-free. So once again, i believed and trusted the doctors. Anyway, the injection wasn't just on one point of my foot. There's a total of five points, and the amount of pain relieving medication injected was quite a lot, about 10ml or maybe more.
Immediately after the jab, my foot was just numb. Pain was not felt and i thought it was a good sign. But well, it didn't last for long. Soon later, my foot was not only numb but it became painful and began to swell. Since then, i knew something was very wrong. And that's where my big nightmare comes alive again. Yes, it's not again!
I'll never ever gonna believe the doctors! Trust my words . .
JiaXin
@ 7:10 PM
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Sunday, January 11, 2009
Out of sorts.
Haven't been feeling right these past few days.
Physically fine, but mentally and emotionally a little off.
Been feeling out of sorts.
Thoughts running through.
Didn't have appetite lately, but ate for the sake of eating.
Been thinking alot, and asking alot.
Felt like it was a 'wake up' call in a sense that tuesday night.
Dont't know if the answer to that question is a yes.
JiaXin
@ 2:02 AM
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Saturday, January 10, 2009
My first week of school.
I know, everyone has started studying, with lots of homework piling up high, but since my school decides to have a longer orientation and with all sorts of enrichment programme . . . I will only be officially studying tomorrow. Not looking forward to it though.
First three days of the week were spent in the ava room. We had this study skills programme, which last from early morning till 5pm in the evening. The lecturer was boring, as usual, trying his best to teach us some useful tips on studying. I personally feel it's useless, as . . . Well, i already have my own style and way of studying and to top it all, we are wasting our money for the course. And this course isn't cheap at all. It costs around 138 buck. Luckily, we didn't need to pay up for this in the form of cash but with edusave. So that's good. =)
Then thursday was the educational tour, a learning journey to supreme court, eurasian community house and the changi chapel museum. Apparently, i didn't go for this educational tour due to personal reason.
We went to TP's open house on friday.
JiaXin
@ 7:23 PM
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Thursday, January 01, 2009
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Today marks the first day of year 2009. It's amazing how fast time flies.
For many infact, year 2008 was bitter-sweet. It was the hardest year for me to pass, knowing i had been accepted by a ballet school but yet i've got to forgo this good chance because of my foot injury. There were times i actually broke down due to the stress accumulating.
I only received the notification via e-mail a week before the preliminary class over at the school. I had to go for this pre-class as somehow it was a form of audition, and on top of that there'll be a health checkup done by the orthopedic doctors. So, if i were to miss this chance, it would mean that i'm giving up my place as a senior-school student. And indeed, i blew my chance away. :(
2008 wasn't so much of a pleasant start. The first few months, i made some wrong decisions which i wished to turn back. I could hardly feel the drive to study. Then came the later months where things in school started progressing faster than usual. I fell sick pretty often. Well, probably it might be due to the fact that i've put my mind away from studies as deep down in my heart, i thought i could make it into a ballet school, and i'll leave for a degree in dance in september. I know, it was so wishful of me to be thinking this way. Oh well, that's my plan initially. It really did happen, except it was because of one major incident that put them all off. That incident was none other than the injection. I shan't go in detail about the injection.
And as the months went by, i realised that i was lagging behind in my studies. Things didn't exactly turn out to be the way i wanted it to be. I couldn't concentrate hard enough but luckily, i managed to pull through all the examination and be promoted to sec4. I never blamed anyone, not even myself for this. This made me realise which of them are worth holding on to.
We're not getting any younger by the day. So it's time we grow up, to be more mature and sensible. I hope 2009 would be a better year compared to 2008 for everyone.
i hope that my foot will fully recover . . .
JiaXin
@ 11:35 AM
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Wednesday, December 03, 2008
I'm pissed!
I was at dhoby ghaut mrt station waiting for the lift to head down to the train platform to take the train back home when there's this unreasonable FAT auntie, pushing a baby pram bump into me. It's the pram. Well, she's with another person and i think it's her mum and seriously, these two women should just go for some brain checkup or something. I was on my way home after going for my treatment and it's obvious enough that i was limping. If the elevator wasn't out of service, i would just have gone to take it. It was just my luck that at that point of time, it's spoiled and hence, i'm left with no choice and got to choose between staircases or lift. And silly me, i chose to take the lift. If i had not taken the lift, i wouldn't have gotten angry and pissed with them and i wouldn't need to listen and hear those harsh word. I mean it, both of them spitted out nasty word from their foul mouth.
Alright, i better go straight to the point and not be so long-winded. And so, when the lift is here, i head straight into the lift first as there's nobody in the lift and i was standing at the corner, just right infront of the lift door. The two women was standing behind me as they came after me. At this moment, the FAT auntie went to push her baby pram straight right into the lift and me, i was obviously still slowing limping my way into the lift and i guess she did it on purpose and she went to push her baby pram's wheel on me. The wheel hit right into my poor injured foot and i reacted like any other normal person. I screamed. I turned and looked at her and instead of her saying a word sorry, guess what's her reaction? She fussed over me screaming and looking at her and she claimed that i was pretending to be hurt and that i was in the wrong because i was blocking her way in pushing the pram into the lift and that i should have given her the way because she's pushing the pram. What sort of reason is this? She also add on that i'm so young and that i should have gone to take the staircase and not use the lift. I told her nicely that my foot was injured, i'm in pain and can't take the stairs and she just started venting out that she doesn't believe me and that i was just simply telling a lie and i was acting. Both of them were speaking in chinese and i knew deep down that those word were bad stuff. Well, i couldn't care less and i wasn't in the mood for any argument. I stood still and waited for them to walk out of the lift before i walked out. IRRITATING LOT!
JiaXin
@ 12:13 PM
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Thursday, November 20, 2008
I'm tired! I had enough of it.
If i continue visiting the clinic, sooner or later, i'll be broke.
Yes indeed, he too came out with the same diagnosis as him. So i guess it's more or less around there. I think i just have to show more confident and trust in them. Maybe the problem lies with me, i don't know.
Oh well . . .
As it seems, i don't really have a choice and the freedom to choose. I'm stuck, yes i know, again. You see, if cost is not a consideration, then no harm trying. But currently, cost is a consideration. So now what? And on top of that, it might not just be these few session you know. It can even be more or perhaps, even other alternatives. Talking to him and telling him about what he had said was just a killer. The expression that was on his face was just unforgettable. Not in the sense of sweetness, but sour looking. He just don't understand why it's so long and draggy for years, which not only him but everyone. He suggested the worst and it's for one thing that i never ever wish to hear about it. It's not as if the scan shows anything, so it's going to be an exploration. They will assume that's the one and cut it off, which it may be or may not.
Speaking of which, cutting it off may not seems as simple as it is. It's me, i'll be the one incurring with the loss. And to top it all, there's bond to be a period of long rest, which i usually see no point in doing so. What's the point then? Sigh!
JiaXin
@ 12:25 PM
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